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Old 10-21-2007   #15
New Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 3
Default Re: Today's Worst Bands...

I joined also to reply to this thread. The problem is where to begin, so I'll do it alphabetically.
A - AC/DC - Shrieking over brain-numbing pseudo-melody. Just how many drugs did their fans take?
Aerosmith - A bunch of never-weres who survived rehab long enough to somehow join forces with Fossil Rock Radio to reinvent history and claim they were actually once relevant. I don't know about most of you, but listening to radio in the 70s, when a DJ said he was playing the hottest band from Boston it meant the J Geils Band, and then Boston, never these clowns.
B - Bon Jovi - As someone who lives in New Jersey, I know these hacks are considered the biggest embarassment to the state after the smell of the oil refineries. Sings every note like he's passing a kidney stone, the lamest guitar gimmicks ever, and lyrics that couldn't win a second grade poetry contest. Also the biggest Springsteen wannabe ever. What's that, Bruce did a country/folk album? Let me hook up with an equally second-rate country band so I can be just like him. As the crowd used to sing in the Jersey shore bar when the DJ played his garbage "Sing like a dog, my songs are lame, I give Jersey a bad name."
Beastie Boys - there must be some kind of joke here that I'm not in on, otherwise I'd rather have white-hot needles jammed in my ears than listen to them.
C - Coldplay - Whiny, pretentious garbage.
D - DMB - see Coldplay. This guy's caterwauling reminds me of the sound a coyote must make if it is caught in a steel trap.
E - Eminem - No comment necessary.
F - 50 Cent - see Eminem
G - David Gray - overwraught, melodramatic singing is OK, just not on EVERY SINGLE SONG.
Guns & Roses - If I want to listen to a shrieking heroin addict, I'll go to a rehab clinic.
H- Bruce Hornsby - boring on his own. Must be a nice guy since he works with a lot of people, just works better than Ambien at putting me to sleep.
"Hair" bands - I know I already mentioned the worst of them, Bon Jovi, but this may have been the worst trend ever in rock music.
J - Jack Johnson - This guy is SOOOOOOOOOO boring, he makes Bruce Hornsby and James Taylor come off like Little Richard.
In the interest of editing, I'll conclude with the letter
M - John Mayer - You can't convince me this guy didn't get beat up every day in school or get his head flushed more than once. Lame, syrupy blathering, sings like he has a mouthful of scalding hot soup, and if he is a "Guitar God" like one publication claims, then the Pittsburgh Pirates are the best team in baseball.
Madonna - Her only true talent is conning people into thinking she has any at all. Let's put it this way: if she had an entire hour to herself on MTV Unplugged, what do you think she could do? Without all the overdubs and distractions of dozens of dancers onstage? What instrument would she play? The even bigger shame is that she spawned an entire generation of lip-synching phonies in Britney, Jessica, Spice Girls, etc.

Last edited by sb24; 10-21-2007 at 02:49 PM.. Reason: spelling
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