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Theatrical (390)

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Editor's rating: 
 3.0
Friday, 05 March 2004 ,  Written by Bill Warren
Some time later, he’s working for Buffalo Bill (J.K. Simmons, who never gets the opportunity to cut loose as he did in “Spider-Man”) on his Wild West Show. He’s friendly with Annie Oakley (Elizabeth Berridge) and Indian chief Eagle Horn (Floyd Red Crow Westerman), evidently a fictional replacement for the real-life Sitting Bull, who did travel with the Wild West Show. But Hopkins is drinking too much; Hidalgo has to rescue him from a minor disaster by grabbing the man’s pants in his teeth and hauling him away. (At times, Hidalgo shows the intelligence of Roy Rogers’ Trigger.) He’s approached by Aziz (Adam Alexi-Malle), a representative of an Arabian sheikh. Every year for a thousand years, he says, there has been a great race across the Arabian Peninsula, testing the mettle of the great Arabian horses the sheikhs prize so highly. ...
Editor's rating: 
 1.0
Friday, 27 February 2004 ,  Written by Bill Warren
But none of them can hold a snuffed candle to the badness of “Twisted.” In one sense, it’s not really Kaufman’s fault; he only directed the movie, he didn’t write the dreadful script. (Sarah Thorp did.) And Kaufman had to answer to a long list of directors; counting executive producers, “Twisted” features no fewer than seven producers, rarely a good sign. However, Kaufman signed the damned thing; he is a writer himself (“Raiders of the Lost Ark” and “The Outlaw Josey Wales,” for example), and he should have found a way to alleviate the very low quality of Thorp’s script. He tries some fairly fancy camera stuff, and he does have a very good cast, but these do not offset the mind-numbingly routine and obvious script. It’s a murder mystery, but anyone who’s even slightly familiar with the genre will realize that ...
Editor's rating: 
 3.5
Friday, 20 February 2004 ,  Written by Bill Warren
Though aimed straight at the teenage girls who were the audience for the popular novel it’s based on, “Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen” is likely to be accessible and amusing to any audience. Directed by Sara Sugarman, new to American movies, it’s inventive, graceful and lively, stylistically a perfect match to its young heroine, played by Lindsay Lohan. Lohan is one of the great finds of her generation. She was on a couple of soaps, then did the entertaining remake of “The Parent Trap” for Disney. She then stepped back from acting for a few years, returning last year with her creative performance in “Freaky Friday.” She played the daughter who traded bodies with her mother, played by Jamie Lee Curtis. And she had a song at the end. She sings in “Confessions,” too, several times, and indeed the movie teeters ...
Editor's rating: 
 2.5
Friday, 20 February 2004 ,  Written by Bill Warren
We also meet Handy Harrison (Ray Romano), a nice but indecisive guy; a lifelong resident of Mooseport, he runs the local hardware store and works as a handyman and plumber. He’s been engaged to Sally (Maura Tierney) for six years, but doesn’t show any sign of actually marrying her yet. The town fathers of Mooseport approach Cole: the local mayor has just died, and they want to appoint him to the office. This would be useful to Cole because it would establish his beautiful Mooseport house as his prime residence; the mostly-ceremonial post of mayor would not occupy much of his time. But unaware of this offer to Cole, Handy has also decided to run for mayor. When he finds out Cole has been offered the job, Handy at first tries to back out, but changes his mind. Cole also wants to ...
Editor's rating: 
 3.5
Friday, 20 February 2004 ,  Written by Abbie Bernstein
Against the Ropes
“Against the Ropes” is a story about something you don’t see every day in real life or movies: a woman boxing promoter. For another, it’s one of those rare films with fight footage convincing enough to please aficionados of the sport and sufficient narrative thrust to get even viewers who normally change the channel to care about the outcome of the climactic match in the ring. “Ropes” reportedly plays fast and loose with reality (this reviewer is not a follower of boxing, and is thus at a disadvantage when it comes to separating fact from fiction here). This much is true – Jackie Kallen manages boxers. A prologue sequence introduces us to Jackie as a little girl, ignored by her father even though she is fascinated by the fighters he trains at his gym. Cut to the present. Jackie (Meg Ryan) ...
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